This is Day Number Two of the Tales of Ever After Blog Tour, and today I am inviting the amazing H.L. Burke to visit with us and share about an exciting (and snarky) surprise.
Hello! I’m H. L. Burke, writer of fantasy of many varieties. The majority of my tales are geared toward teen-to-adult readers, but as a mother of two boisterous Superhero Princesses, sometimes I like to write a tale for them. This is one of those. My other works include: YA steampunk with sarcastic computers; fantasy adventures with snarky magicians; romantic fairy tale retellings with cursed princesses and princes who sometimes turn into giant snakes … and of course, many, many dragons. If you’d like to check out my tales of wonder, adventure, and snark, you can find them at my website.
Of Oven Timers, Adorable Desk Lamps, and Kindly Lampposts
by H. L. Burke
I talk to the timer on my oven.
Seriously, the dang thing is impatient and hecka annoying. I’ll set it for ten minutes and get involved with something and it’ll start beep, beep, beeping at me, and I’m like, “Just a minute!” and it keeps beeping. It NEVER listens even if I just want to plant a few more crops in my game of Stardew Valley or send a friend one more cat picture.
It’s all, “Now, now, now, now, now,” until I run over and take out the pork loin (fifty more seconds isn’t going to hurt the stupid loin, Oven. It’s already dead.).
But yeah, it’s weird how we humans anthropomorphize things. We get emotionally connected to toys as kids, sometimes even blankets which don’t even have faces. We name our cars. We feel sad when inanimate objects break.
It’s possibly Pixar’s fault, but then you have The Brave Little Toaster and The Velveteen Rabbit, so I guess I can’t put all the blame at the feet of that adorable desk lamp.
So when an image crossed my Facebook feed of a lamppost designed to look like it was holding an umbrella over a park bench, my first instinct wasn’t, “Oh, what a clever design.” It was, “What a sweet, good-hearted, faithful lamppost. I want to huggles him.”
It was obviously a he lamppost. Don’t ask me how I knew that.
But I wanted to know more!
What sort of personality would a kindly lamppost have? (beyond, of course, being kindly)
What would a lamppost want the most out of life?
Who would his friends be?
What caused him to realize his destiny, holding an umbrella for some poor, soggy human?
And what would his reward be for this good deed?
I found out, of course, but to discover what I did, you’ll have to read “At the Corner of First and Elm,” my short story in Tales of Ever After.
-H. L. Burke
Thank you, Heidi, that was a hilarious post! I’m sure everyone enjoyed it as much as I did.
Now, be sure to visit Kendra’s blog to find out about the other exciting things going on today during our blog tour.
And don’t forget to enter these amazing Giveaways:
US ONLY
(All books are paperbacks, and possibly signed.)
a Rafflecopter giveaway
INTERNATIONAL (All books are ebooks of the winner’s file format of choice) a Rafflecopter giveaway
Also, be sure to comment on all the blog posts this week. The person who comments the most times will win a small collection of sneak peeks to some of the authors upcoming works!